Fa la la la la, la la la la!

Ho Ho Ho Cathy!

Gosh, what a lot of baking, and it all looks so good. Your presentation is second to none dear.

We had a fabulous Christmas and only finished off the last of the turkey gravy this afternoon. We've been eating roast dinners every day to use it up, all except for yesterday when I went to London for my lunch. It was a very special occasion as an old friend from abroad was visiting, so I made the trip to Covent Garden to see her. We had a light lunch accompanied by Champagne Cocktails. Ever so slightly dizzy, I just about made it to the right platform at Paddington to catch my train home. On alighting at our local station I had a twenty minute walk, which might have been a bit spooky, had the bubbles I had imbibed not kept me all warm and floaty.

We have enjoyed all the usual festive village traditions including the Christmas Coffee Morning and the Christmas Pudding. The latter, is a special evening when a mixture of villagers get up on stage and do
a turn, a little bit like all the wonderful ingredients that go to make a Christmas Pudding in the culinary sense. Speaking of which, I didn't make a pudding, but not to be out-done by you my dear, I did make Mince pies (with home-made mincemeat),

a Christmas cake,

a Trifle,

Christmas cookies with the children,

and some Bread Sauce. I know that Bread Sauce doesn't really count as baking but I do so love it. I go a bit heavy on the cloves as you can see.

On Christmas day I cooked the lunch, and all was going swimmingly until I went to prep the sprouts and found there weren't any. The silly woman who put together my veg order at the local market had not put them in and I had not checked. It didn't really matter because we had lots of other veg and I put some frozen peas on the plates for a splash of green. When I gave mother the bad news however, she looked gloomy and remarked:
'I always say it's not Christmas dinner without sprouts' - typical.

The next thing was that the oven started smoking. Some of the juices from the turkey were leaking onto the bottom shelf, so I took out the bird and got on my hands and knees with a fish slice to scrape up the sticky black mess. Just then Mr B from up the lane stuck his head through the open window to give me some of his chocolate covered Vodka Damsons. I must have looked a right state when I got my head out of the oven to wish him Merry Christmas. To top it all, as soon as I'd cleaned up the mess I managed to drop my delicious bread sauce on the exact same spot. I was quite upset, so I scraped it up and put it back in the bowl. Nobody seemed to notice, although it wasn't quite as creamy as it had been and there were a few little black flecks in it.

Anyway, we all survived. It's turkey curry tomorrow and the day after we are off to the panto - oh yes we are!

Speak to you in the new year, much love, Lucy. xxx

PS The Damson Gin worked out very well and I shall be making more next year. I found out too late that when you have drained off the liquid you can make a very nice crumble out of the gin-soaked damsons. Alas, ours were already on the compost heap!

Chocolate Shortbread

My dear Lucy; Happy Christmas! You didn't need to apologise for being so busy in the run up to the holidays - it was madness, wasn't it? But so joyful! We attended all the Chino children's nativities, which were wonderful; the little ones were a shepherd and a traveller and the eldest was a boy in a play about being homeless at Christmas. I cried at them all and for very different reasons: the 'traditional' nativity was so sweet, complete with X-Factor-style dancing from some of the angels! And the more contemporary offering made me so grateful for what we have that I admit I wept with gratitude. How awful it must be to be alone and struggling, when everyone appears to be so happy at this time of year...

Anyway, needless to say, Christmas for us was joyful and my baking was triumphant!

I made a couple of batches of Chocolate Shortbread [Page 31] and gave some to friends, with a bottle of wine, as a gift; the rest I kept for the boys, but felt the need to sample some myself with a cup of tea... Yum!

We had a houseful, so I ended up baking quite a lot: Saturday was Death by Chocolate (as recommended by you) and was delish!

(I added white chocolate stars for a more festive feel!)

I was "brave" enough to bake on Christmas Day due to the fact that Mr. Chino cooked the lunch. Pudding saw me revisiting the Lemon Meringue tart [Page 168], but this time with less disastrous results due to cheating and buying ready-made pastry cases from the supermarket - this provided a delicious, and safe, alternative to the debacle that ensued when last I tried this recipe. Unfortunately, I neglected to take photographs so Margo won't get to see that I really can make this dessert.

Finally, on Monday, I made Bread and Butter Pudding [Page 297]. Now, previous attempts to make this humble pud had baffled me, with something akin to a sweet toast and egg concoction emerging from my fan oven. Not so, this time! Hurrah! I am now able to produce something so light and moist it borders on the erotic; there were groans and murmurs of delight as we ate!

Now all the guests are on their way back to Shropshire, the beds are stripped and the vacuuming has been done. Christmas feels like a world away, but I am reminded of Santa's visit every time I hear the little ones knocking out a tune on the drum kit; wishing you 'peace and joy' for the season!

Much love, Cathy. xx

Sticky Nutty Flapjacks

My Dear Cathy,

A pinch and a punch for the first of the month! Did Santa leave you anything exciting in your advent calendar this morning?

So sorry for the delay in responding but I'm up to my ears, as I'm sure you are. Concerts, school trips, baking for this event, helping at that - I'm quite exhausted. Last week I helped the school with their Church of England inspection (ho ho ho), I have been asked to make trifles for the village christmas lunch next week, and I have been asked to sit on two more local committees. I might as well get a job darling! I'm dealing with wardrobe for the school nativity play (little Latte is narrating AND playing Mary. I have hand-made her costume out of crushed velvet). I was so behind with all my shopping, that I have just placed a panic order with Amazon which might just save my neck.

Now, I did bake a variety of little cakes for the Brownies last month and they were beautiful en masse, but I forgot to take a picture! Never mind, here are some Sticky Nutty Flapjacks (p61) which I baked in my electric oven on Sunday last. They turned out much better than previous attempts in my somewhat aggressive gas oven which you know all about. Very easy to make and you can pretend they're healthy because they've got oats in!

The Halloween party was fun by the way, but I was unable to make the grand entrance with my fabulous hat and costume that I had planned. Including my high heels and huge pointy hat I must have measured six foot nine, but the cottage has low ceilings which I had not allowed for, and as a consequence, I had to stoop all evening. The hostess had turned down all the lights to enhance the spooky mood and this made it difficult for people to see me. I had a terrible crick in my neck by the time we went home - which wasn't late because one little Latte was so scared of the gruesome decorations and sound effects that we had to leave early!

My diet is a great success thank you. I have lost a stone and a half. One or two people have been kind enough to comment, though I had expected a bit more reaction. Quite honestly, I think some people are just too mean to mention it. I even wore a shortish skirt to the Curry and Casserole Night at the Village Hall recently, but this only resulted in shocked faces. C'est la vie!

I may not get the chance to write in full again over the festivities, but I will try to drop you the odd short note if that would be welcome?

Toodle-pip, Lucy. x

Apple Scone Round

Dear Lucy,

And they say that village life is quiet and boring, well not with you around, my dear! I do hope that your past isn't catching up with you, we all know how rumours are hard to live down... It puts me in mind of a particularly rigorous customs search I once endured due to a small, yet innocuous, bag of white powder in a suitcase; those memories can scar, but at least none of my neighbours witnessed it. I do hope that the Village Gossip hasn't been told and that you managed to enjoy your Hallowe'en shindig.

We don't much go in for that 'trick or treat' malarkay, but we did hold our usual firework party on November the 5th; we had about 15 guests of all ranges and, I'm delighted to say that most of them brought pudding and alcohol! Perfect!

My latest bake was a masterpiece, though I say it myself. I know you're struggling to cope with your damsons, but my issue is cooking apples. We have a very tall tree in the garden, so the fruit is impossible to pick and I have to wait for the blighters to drop before I can do anything with them. That means I have to act quickly before they rot on the ground; it's feast or famine with apples in our house. Anyway, I was hosting our latest book club meeting (we'd been reading "One Day" which is very pleasant but not at all the 'masterpiece' the testimonials claim it to be) and the apples were there, so I tried the Apple Scone Round [page69]. It was so simple to make and designed to look rustic, so it suited me down to the ground. I served it with both clotted cream and Wensleydale cheese, but most of the Book Club members went for cream; it was delicious warm from the oven, but the problem, I find, is stopping after one slice... I had visitors the next day and offered them what was left of the round with a cup of tea; though not quite as perfect as the previous day, it was well-received and very tasty. I don't think a damson version would work, though...

How's the liquid diet going? I must say I'm very impressed as I find any kind of self-deprivation beyond me; have you managed to fit into anything without lycra, yet? I'm not quite into anything with an elastic waist, but I do find that jeans with a bit of stretch in them are far more forgiving once you've had children; the fat seems to move south, doesn't it?

Keep up the good work! Let me know how you're going on; I think you're marvelous for even trying (unless your liquid diet consists mostly of alcohol, that is!)

Much love, Cathy

Tarte au Citron

Dear Cathy

You have been a busy bee haven't you? Not too busy to watch the final of 'The Great British Bake Off' I hope? I was very pleased for Jo, the winner, although I must confess that Janet was my favourite. I thought she was fabulous, even though Sue Perkins said her croissants looked like neck-braces! We all make mistakes Sue, and Janet's Tarte au Citron was a masterpiece compared to mine.

The pastry was sticky and difficult to handle, but I managed to patch it up in the flan tin quite adequately and the filling was easy-peasy. So 'what went wrong' I hear you ask. Quite simply, I couldn't get the blooming thing out of the tin. My filling had leaked and stuck the whole thing down like super-glue. In the end my only option was to turn the tart upside down and give it a bash. It might look like a pile of sick but it tasted divine.

Speaking of glue, I must tell you what happened to me last week. I was bagging up damsons for freezing (bugger the jam), and putting the required number in little plastic bags. I then needed to suck out the air. Normally, I do this with a drinking straw but I had none to hand, so I just put the bag to my mouth and sucked as hard as I could. When my lungs were at full capacity I happened to glance up to see one of the neighbours staring at me through my kitchen window. I am the talk of the village once again as everyone now thinks I have been glue-sniffing! I am helping with the village lunches on Wednesday and I don't know how I'm going to face everyone. Still, you know me dear, I shall just brazen it out. If nothing else, I shall look fabuous. I am now on a liquid diet (porridge, soup and skinny lattes), but it seems to be doing the trick. I have done lots of swimming and hill-walking (I bought some very expensive, state-of-the-art new walking shoes which I'm very pleased with, although they do give me blisters), and I have lost a stone in weight. TA DA! I expect it will all go to pot on Saturday when I'm off to a halloween party where there will be food and drink a plenty. I have a magnificent costume though, and may even send you a photo after the event. Watch this space!

Lots of love, Lucy.

PS By the way my deara - I think you mis-spelled Madeira!

Madiera cake

Hello, dear! How are you?

I'm all over the place at present and can't seem to get much of a grip! I think I'm just ready for the half-term hols so I can catch my breath. I've a pile of ironing the size of a small family car; the dog keeps chewing various items of clothing; I won't even mention the state of my bathroom (suffice it to say that I'll have to give it a good seeing to before I open the front door to any visitors...) But much of my disorganisation is down to having a healthy social life and having little time to dedicate to being a domestic godess as a result. On Saturday last, not only did I meet a friend for lunch in Leeds, but Mr Chino and myself went out to dinner with friends; on Sunday I catered for the little Chinos' fifth birthday party - they went as Darth Vader - baking two cakes in the morning; Monday was the boys' parents' evening and Tuesday saw me travelling to Leeds (again) to watch "Madam Butterfly"! I can't believe what I packed into the last few days... Needless to say, I'm pooped!

Thank goodness I had to bake birthday cakes, else I'd never have got round to baking at all. The boys are so different and, just like last year, wanted different cakes to one another. I ended up making a chocolate and a Madiera cake. Both were delicious! The Madiera cake was so simple to make, good job too, as I had burnt one chocolate cake on Saturday and had run out of eggs. I had visions of a mercy dash to the Co-op to purchase a Caterpillar cake (cover your ears, Margo; I bet your children have never suffered such abuse at your hands...), but was saved that fate. As you can see from the photo, my cake decoration skills are limited, but the boys were delighted.

I must say that the Brownies never appealed to me either, all that calling grown women by owl names seemed a little strange; come to think of it, I never joined the RSPB for that matter.

I'm sure you'll manage the November bake very well, although Margo's suggestion was a little obvious; what about Parkin - very 'Bonfire Night', or Treacle Toffee? Have a look through the Great British Book of Baking, I'm sure you'll get an idea.

Well, that's all for now; I'm off to get into my pyjamas and curl up in front of the tv with a nice cup of tea.

Night night; Cathy x

Apple and Bramble Pie

Dear Cathy

Thank you for your kind words dear. There have been one or two unkind remarks since the show which are rather hurtful, but I stand by my decision to enter a burnt Lemon Drizzle Cake and an over-sized Bakewell Tart. Some time ago I was asked to join the W.I. to bolster their dwindling numbers, and I was giving it serious consideration, but on further reflection I don't think I'll bother!

We have been very busy adjusting to the new school term and all the new after-school activities and associated logistics. No sooner do I think I've got it all sorted than something else crops up. My eldest has just started Brownies and is loving it already. Strange really - as a young girl I attended for a while but could never muster up much enthusiasm and ended up getting thrown out. I never knew why and mother still can't talk about it! Anyway, at the end of each meeting there is a cake sale and everyone takes turns to make little cup cakes etc. We're not baking until November but I'm looking for inspiration already. Do let me know if you have any suggestions for something special won't you?

The latest bake was Apple and Bramble Pie (p221). The recipe said one could replace blackberries with various other fruits and I used Whinberries, hand-picked by the Latte family at the end of the summer holiday. It was a beautiful sunny day and we had been pond-dipping in the morning. We followed this with a cup of tea and a slice of Wild Edric's Tart at the Bog Visitor Centre, and then continued up to the Stiperstones where we spent a happy hour picking the delicious little berries. It was so satisfying to take them home, sort them, wash them and put them in a pie. I took a picture of them because I thought they were so beautiful.

The Damson tree in the garden is also laden with fruit and we have been picking that too. I have tried three times to make jam. The first batch burned, the second set like concrete and the last separated into a thick syrup with a few damsons floating around in it. I have now given up as I was wasting such a lot of fruit. I have frozen some for pies and have started off some Damson Gin which takes three months to brew! The rest I have given to Lois for her to make jam, and she will repay me with a couple of jars of the finished product.

That's all for now. Your dear friend Lucy. x

PS ref your last letter - what happened to the cat?

PPS I am having a lovely time playing with Pottermore. I have opened an account at Gringotts Bank, bought all the equipment I need for Hogwarts in Diagon Alley, and I've got my wand from Ollivanders!

Special Sausage Rolls

My poor, dear Lucy,

I had to have a large glass of full-bodied red and a lie down in a darkened room after reading your latest news! Crikey! I do hope that you're feeling a little more chipper by now and have lived down the humiliation of your efforts at the village fete; I think they should have awarded marks for sheer effort, but one does find that the 'ladies' in charge of judging these affairs have little imagination and don't credit the entrants with any, either. I was charged with helping my mother with the entries for her garden club show last summer and, quite honestly, the amount of red tape involved would have equipped a dozen may-poles, never mind one. I suppose they would justify it by claiming that "a level playing-field makes it fairer to everyone concerned", yet it does nothing but dampen the spirits of those keen to support local community events as far as I can see. (Of course, we must not forget how proudly you reigned supreme as Queen of the Victoria Sponge in previous times, or the reflected glory in which you now bask following the little Latte's triumphs... I hope you can gain strength from these...)

I notice, again, that Margo has given us her penn'orth of wisdom; it's all very well taking the high ground, but has she even entered her wares into such a competitive arena? I doubt it. As the kids say, "Don't listen to the haters", Lucinda. Gird your loins, ride the storm, hold your head erect and all will soon pass.

Things have been rolling along here: the eldest Chino child is now in Y6 and we face the imminent prospect of choosing a secondary school for him and the two youngest have just started in Reception; how time marches on... To stop myself from getting broody, we acquired a puppy over the holidays and, you'll be pleased to note, have called her Muffin; cut me open and you'll find baking written through my core, like a stick of Blackpool rock! She is a delight and we are now able to explore the local countryside on our daily walks. A good job, too, as I have put on a little weight around the middle over the summer, so need to do something about it. My latest bake was Special Sausage Rolls [page 324]. I'm afraid I took the easy option and used ready made, frozen puff pastry (thank you, Mr B. Rowe!) as I had some in and was a little pressed for time - the recipe said it was a good alternative to making your own, and so it was. The Chino children were able to enjoy a delicious after-school snack. I must say that they were far less greasy than those sold in our local bakers and have popped them into the freezer to defrost as required. I split the batch in half and made about 8 good-sized plain rolls and spread some caramelised onion chutney inside the others, to cater for more exotic tastes. Both were a real success although, if I am to bake them again, I'll have to improve on my 'knocking-up' and 'scalloping' - as usual, my results look a little rustic. I would also cut them smaller as they are definitely more than a mouthful.

Haven't seen anything of our neighbours since they erected the fence; it's probably for the best as relations were distinctly soured when our eldest scared their cat into the road just as a car was passing. Things like that can be so hard to get over, can't they?

Hope to hear good news from you soon.

With love, Cathy x

The Village Produce Show 2011

4pm

Dear Cathy

I have just returned from the Show and I expect you are eager to know how I got on.

My Lemon Drizzle Cake was not placed, and I can't say I'm surprised. I am led to believe that the judge had very high standards, and there were several excellent entries. She did leave an advisory note for all entrants with a very useful tip for next time though:

'Best to test with a warm skewer as a cold one leaves a mark'.

There was also a note with the Bakewell Tarts as follows:

'Flan cases should be well filled. Always read the schedule carefully - 7" approx size."

I had a hot flush when I read it as it was clearly directed at me, but it gets worse I'm afraid. My tart was marked 'N.A.S. - Not According to Schedule' which means it was disqualified!

I tried to laugh it off, but truth be told, I felt quite ashamed. I let the village down, I let you down, and worst of all I let myself down.

The little Lattes did very well with their Rock Cakes, winning first and second prizes in the Under-8s category. They also won prizes for their Scarecrow Collages and their Poems.

That's all for now dear, I'm going for a lie down.

Lucy x

The Village Produce Show 2011

10am

Dear Cathy

What a fiasco! I have just returned from the Village Hall where I have been setting up for the Show. I feel quite deflated. It all began yesterday...

My friend Stevie and her three children came over for lunch. I made Lasagne with a fresh salad followed by Eton Mess for pudding. After lunch the children frolicked in the paddling pool while Stevie and I spent a happy afternoon sitting in the warm sun and chatting over a lovely bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

Our friends left late afternoon and we set to work on the children's Rock Cakes, getting them into the oven without much trouble. I then told the little Lattes it was 'mummy's time now', and they toddled off to play. I had already made the pastry base for my Bakewell Tart and had lined my newly acquired flan tin. The shop it came from had several sizes of tin. The recipe asked for 22cms but they only had 20 or 23cms, so I opted for the larger one. There was also a choice between shallow and deep. I opted for deep, as a shallow tart is always a disappointment in my opinion. Anyway, I spread the jam on the base and made up the topping quite easily. When I put the topping into the case it wasn't easy to spread as it was quite thick, and there didn't seem to be much of it - I was not optimistic. It looked alright when it came out of the oven, but the filling was inadequate. 'No matter' I thought. 'Onward and Upward'.

Next was the Lemon Drizzle Cake which I had made many times and had off to a fine art, as I think even Margo, who has sampled some, will agree. I casually threw the mixture together, chucked it in the oven and half an hour later I had a burnt cake. By this time, Mr Latte was home from work, the children were glued to 'Horrible Histories' and I'd opened the second 'bouteille de vin'. 'Sod it' I thought, 'I'll get up early tomorrow and make another one'.

By 7.15 this morning, slightly shaky and sick of the sight of cake mix, I had Lemon Drizzle Mark II in the oven, and thirty minutes later I had another burnt cake - DISASTER! I had two choices - turn up to the Village Hall without an entry in this category or support the show by entering anyway. After all, there can be no winners without losers, and that Cathy, is exactly what I did. I popped some icing on it and brazened it out!

I was up at the Hall by 8.30 and put my Lemon Drizzle Cake with the others (which were all loaves - oh dear, that will be another point deducted). Placing all my hopes in the Bakewell, I went to place my entry with the others, which all looked rather puny. I then realised to my dismay that the Schedule had actually specified a 7 inch tart, so mine was over size - more points lost!

Sorry there are no pictures yet, I will take some later when the show open to the public this afternoon.

Yours, Lucy x

Lemon Meringue Tart

Dear Lucy,

So sorry to have worried you, I know how much you live on your nerves and should have been more thoughtful before we jetted off to sunnier climes.

We had a fabulously cultural time, as we had a had a few Spanish lessons before we went and excercised our knowlege at every opportunity. I was able to ask for the little Chinos' burgers to be delivered 'sin queso' and for 'dos Coca Colas' when we ventured out for our evening meal; I even tried a paella - bien! You would have loved the jug of Sangria we had one evening, I have surfed the net and found a recipe which will enable me to recreate a bit of Spain in North Yorkshire. Staying in a fabulous villa enabled the little Chinos to enjoy the benefits of a private pool; I know that you will interpret that as a spot of 'skinny-dipping' but, what with the pool man coming from time to time and the searing heat, we didn't dare expose any more of their delicate flesh than was strictly necessary.

Please apologise to PC Selby for me; I really think that an APB, as they say on the television, was a little extreme, perhaps I can make it up to him with a cake...

Talking of baking, I have managed to dabble since I returned, but I think I must be out of practice; as you will clearly see from the photograph, the results were not pretty. Lemon Meringue [page 168] is a bit of a Chino family favourite and I have made it a number of times, using dear Mary Berry's recipe, so I thought I was on to a winner. I have fond memories of my old Nanny's efforts, although a cannot be sure if she didn't use a packet mix and I wouldn't blame her if she did - it's a really intensive baking experience. It all began to go wrong for me with the pastry: it was easy to make and I lined the tin well but, I feel, made the mistake of reading the guidance notes on 'How to line a flan tin' [page 151]; I was advised to curve the edge of the pastry, prior to baking blind, as this would mke it easier to "unmould" once cooled. Well, when I came to remove it from the oven, it had curled over completely and seemed to be consuming my baking beans! The lack of sides to my pastry case meant that the lemon filling could not be contained and oozed out further when I put on the meringue topping. Oh dear! Not my finest hour. However, it was delicious and we managed to consume it all within 24 hours!

I fear that Margo will have something to say about all of this debacle, but quite frankly, a woman who confuses coriander for mould won't be taking up much of my time.

Sorry I haven't managed to pop down to see you over the summer break, we have a puppy and are rather tied to home at present.

Much love to you and yours,

Cathy x

Dear Catherine

I am so pleased to hear that you are alive and well and have been enjoying a relaxing holiday en Espana, but I do wish you had told me you were going away, as you could have saved me a lot of anxiety. Quite how I'm going to explain this to PC Selby I'm not sure. 'Rock-Fest' has been and gone, by the way, so you've missed out there, and The Great British Bake Off has begun. I'm afraid I couldn't record it for you as the Latte family were on our annual trip to London. I do think it's important to give the children cultural experiences during the school holidays rather than lounging around on foreign beaches all summer.

Looking forward to your next bake.

Yours, Lucy.

Greetings from Spain

Hola Lucy!

We are having a lovely time in Spain, the sun is shining and the Chino family are relaxed, happy and well.

Obviously, I haven't had time to bake this week, but I have tried all manner of Spanish cakes (in the interests of research, you understand!).

Will let you know all the news on my return!

Adios!

Cathy x

Coffee Walnut Cake

Dear Cathy

It is almost three weeks since my last letter and still no word from you.
I have tried to telephone several times to no avail. If only Margo still worked at The Exchange, she could test the line for me. I am writing this in a last ditch attempt to raise you, and if I don't hear from you forthwith, I shall assume that your dastardly neighbour has erected his new garden fence for more sinister reasons than either of us had imagined, and will report you to the police as a missing person. I hope I'm not too late. It would be a cruel blow if you were taken from us just as a new series of 'The Great British Bake Off' came to our screens (Tuesday 16th August, 8pm, BBC2). I don't know how I'd cope without you, mind you, I suppose your very expensive 'Titanium Kenwood Chef Major' would be looking for a new home. I see from the brochure that amongst other things the mixer has a 'pulse function'. What a sad irony that would be.

Anyway, must be strong and professional. On Saturday, we had Lois and Jeffrey over for elevensees as they will be looking after Professor McGonagall while we're in London next week. We went through the feeding regime and showed them how to close the cat-flap at night.
I made a Coffee and Walnut cake (p250). I didn't have the 8 inch tins stipulated in the recipe, and Mr Latte warned me that 7 inches would be inadequate, but the cake came out beautifully as you can see.

Speaking of Professor McGonagall, I was quite distracted last week by the Magical Quill Challenge to gain early access to Pottermore, the new online Harry Potter experience. I was fortunate enough to solve the clue on the second day of the challenge and find the Magical Quill, which means I am one of the lucky few who will be able to enter Pottermore ahead of the general public. I have even been given a special witchy name! More on this next time I hope. As I write, the children are running around the garden in little pointy hats shouting 'EXPELLIARMUS' at each other. How sweet.

Hoping to hear from you post-haste, your loving friend, Lucy. x


Notes to Self:

1 Must buy some 8 inch cake tins, a new pastry brush (have been using one of the children's paint brushes and the bristles are coming out) and another rubber spatula.

2 Find telephone number for Missing Persons Hotline - very important.

3 Check to see whether the Titanium Kenwood Chef Major comes with a liquidiser.

Death by Chocolate

Dear Cathy

I do apologise for the delay in responding but I have been very busy socially, as well as my voluntary work. Did I mention that I help out with the village lunches these days? I started off chopping cabbage, before being promoted to serving roast potatoes. Most recently, I was entrusted with making the tomato sauce for the vegetarian option. It's quite a responsibility as I'm sure you appreciate, but someone has to step up to the plate as they would say on 'The Apprentice'. Did you follow the last series? I was so pleased for lovely Tom - I wonder if he's got a girlfriend?

Anyway, in addition to the village lunch, Mr Latte and I recently attended a barbecue at Larkspur Cottage. Half the village was there and we had a very lively table - the naughty table as it turned out. We played that game where you go around each person to compose a Limerick line by line. The results were surprisingly rude and can't be repeated here, but suffice to say that Mr Latte isn't speaking to me at the moment. Anyway, during the evening, it transpired that a Village Rock-Fest is being organised! A string of local bands are being asked to play, but I thought they should be more ambitious, and suggested they invite Robert Plant who lives nearby. Should I let you know when the date has been confirmed?

Anyway - baking! I attended another pool party recently, and this time I took along Death by Chocolate (p265). Very easy, totally delicious and for a seasonal touch, I dumped a pile of strawberries on top. The recipe made a huge 9-inch cake and every scrap was eaten!

I meant to ask, are you going on holiday this summer? I'm trying to get us in at Aberdovey for a couple of nights this week but no luck as yet.

Speak soon, love Lucy. x

Naans

Dear Lucy,

It seems like too long since I last wrote to you, perhaps it's not an overstatement to say that I have spent much of that time giggling when I think of your last letter! Poor you and the little Lattes; you were, indeed, unjustly treated. It does annoy me when others don't play by the rules and your experience reminded me of last year's Sports' Day at the Chino children's school...

... foolishly, perhaps, I was encouraged to enter the Mum's race - a seemingly innocuous speed walk whilst carrying a tray laden with water-filled cups. Strict instructions were delivered that we were not to run and I was confident that I would make the Chino name one of which to be proud. Imagine my dismay, then, when the whistle blew, I began with a spirited stride and the other mothers sprinted past me like rats out of a sewer! By the time I had collected my thoughts and recovered from the desperate lack of fair play, the other 'ladies' (and I use the term most loosely) were over the line. Needless to say I finished the race, head held high and cups full, but dismayed by the iniquity. This year I merely donated some chocolate muffins to the cake stall and left them to it!

All has been good on the baking front and I have been stepping out of my comfort zone of late by baking naan bread - page 118. Well, what a revelation, it couldn't be more simple to do and, for the pence they cost to make, a real bargain! Mr Chino declared that they were, not only better than shop-bought but, better than restaurant standard! I have made them twice within a week - the second time they sat in the oven for a little while so weren't quite as soft and fluffy - and won't buy them again. They are so easy to make that the little Latte lovelies would have no trouble. Try it and see, won't you?

Whilst we are on the subject of bread, I note that Margo has commented on the state of my bread knife (Cottage Loaf, June); I am intrigued as to why she thinks it needs sharpening as a) I do like a big heel of bread and butter; b) the loaf was deliciously warm when I cut it for the photograph and c) she clearly doesn't know Mr Chino if she thinks he'd go anywhere near a knife sharpener! A less practical man I am yet to meet, however, after 18 years of happy marriage, I think I'm unlikely to trade him in for another model if that's the most serious accusation I can tar his character with! Ooh, that's just sent an image of my Grandad, sharpening his knife in the kitchen before he cut his wafer-thin breakfast jam sandwiches...

... Happy days!

By the way, the neighbour's fence is now treated with dark brown creosote; I must say that it's certainly made their frontage a good deal more presentable. Speaking of which, I hope that your frontage has been covered up since you startled the postman!

Write soon, won't you?

Love, Cathy x

Fairy Cakes

Dear Cathy

Sunday last, was the School Summer Show. One little Latte entered a Fruit Kebab comprising English seasonal soft fruits, winning third prize in the category. Other entrants had included foreign fruits like bananas and melon, and one child had even used marshmallows! We were robbed.

The other little Latte entered a Seaside Picture, a collage of different materials that she worked very hard on without any help from me.
It was her own idea to use bubble-wrap for the sea, which I thought quite ingenious, but the judges palmed her off with a 'Well Done' sticker, favouring a decoupage picture which had clearly been made by the parents. Terribly unjust don't you think? And a cruel lesson in life.

I entered the category for 'Three Tea Time Fancies (three of the same e.g. cupcakes, biscuits etc). I knew I wouldn't produce my best work because I'd been at a little girl's fifth birthday party on the Saturday and I'd gone home rather the worse for wear. I couldn't help it, we were there all day in the garden, sun beating down on us and I had to drink plenty of Pimms to keep myself hydrated. I couldn't leave, because I was responsible for watching the children in the swimming pool, mind you, I couldn't see much after about four o'clock.

Anyway, I dragged myself out of bed at 7.30am on Sunday and threw together a batch of fairy cakes (p266). To give them a topical Wimbledon reference, I sliced off the tops, filled them with clotted cream and stuffed them with strawberries. I wasn't dissatisfied with the results as the cakes were lovely and moist and they really did look pretty, but I only made third place. Some of these judges do lack imagination. The first prize winner had put plain old buttercream on her cakes and the second prize winner was one of the children! I've never been so insulted. Still, I don't take it too seriously.

Did you follow Wimbledon this year? Such a shame that Andy Murray didn't make it through to the final, but as I said to Mr Latte, what can you expect from a man who can't even be bothered to shave in the morning?

Lots of love, Lucy. x

PS I can't help wondering what your neighbour is getting up to behind that new fence. Who lives there dear? In the interests of community safety (you know what Mr Cameron says about The Big Society) you might need to pop over there with a periscope and see what's going on.

Cottage Loaf

My dear Lucy,

Sorry I haven't written to you in a while, I have been giving our situation a good deal of thought and, upon great reflection, I realise that you wouldn't want to hurt my feelings - we have known each other for too long to indulge in such silliness; so, yes, all is forgiven, and if I have been ungenerous at all, I hope that you will forgive me. I must say that your story about your parents on the motorbike made me smile and realise that you are cut from the same cloth as your mother; I have a vision of you with your hem up around your 'ahem, whizzing along while Mr L hangs on for dear life!

Anyway, my latest bake turned out to be a great success on a number of levels: kneading bread dough for 10 minutes is excellent for calming a troubled mind and toning-up one's 'bingo wings'. What a juxtaposition of relaxation and tautness I experienced! However, I did make the mistake of attempting to bake bread by hand on the very day that I had arranged a play date for the little Chinos after Nursery; by the time we returned home, the risen dough had taken on a life of its own and was oozing across the work-top. All was not lost, however, as I simply 'knocked it back' and left it to rise again. The result was scrumptiously crusty bread (Cottage Loaf p101). I know that Margo will be disappointed to read that I normally use a bread-maker, but a busy mum of three who works part time must make concessions; at least I am serving up home made bread each week rather than shop-bought, so I do know what is in it. But this simple and delicious bread went down a storm and requests have been made for more. Perhaps next time I shall experiment with making two smaller loaves as the mixture did result in a whopping loaf that was hard to fit in the bread bin! Commiserations on the Cornish Pasties, Lucy; but we do need to learn from our mistakes, don't we?

We also need to welcome Amanda, another new follower, into the fold. I don't know what her stance is on mechanical gadgets, but I hope she enjoys our letters. By the way, I have just watched the man across the road put the finishing touches to a fence around the front of his property. I've observed the whole process from start to finish and feel that it will give them a good deal more privacy; people can be so nosey, can't they? I'm glad to say that I don't fall into that camp, I just find my eye is drawn across the road from time to time...

Glad we're back to the way we were.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Cathy x

Cornish Pasties

My Dear Cathy

I am so very sorry if I have upset you, but I realise now that I must have made a mistake. It wasn't 'mummy's tinkle cried' but 'mummy hitched a ride' I heard. I know you are an experienced festival-goer but I really wish you wouldn't hitch. If you want a ride to Glastonbury next week I will take you there on the motorbike. Do you think you could get astride it? If not, you'll have to ride side-saddle like my mother used to when pencil skirts were all the rage. She and father got stopped one night on the way home from a cheese and wine do, and the Police Officer in question made her hitch everything up to get her leg over the bike. How undignified. Gives another meaning to hitching a ride doesn't it?

Now, I would like to extend a warm welcome to our first follower, Margo Mocha, who cautions us against the use of kitchen gadgetry. Thank you Margo, how very wise you are, although I must say I wouldn't be without my egg slicer! I bought it recently along with some new plastic clothes pegs. I used one of the pegs to hold a towel around me the other day while I hung out the washing. I'd only done two vests and a pair of pants when the peg pinged off and landed in the shrubbery. There I was, stark-naked, with a pair of Jockeys in one hand and a peg-bag in the other. To top it all, who should come wandering down the lane, snooping through the Laurels but 'Mr Nosey' from Cosy Nook Cottage. I felt like Barbara Windsor in Carry On Camping - so humiliating.

When I had recovered my composure I thought I'd have a go at making some Cornish Pasties (p209). I've never made them before and I adore them. In my experience you can't get a decent one outside Cornwall. I knew the dough wasn't right when I put it in the fridge to rest. The recipe said not to over-handle it but I think I went too far the other way and didn't knead enough. As for the filling, I used stewing steak as they didn't have any skirt at the butchers. The recipe contained specific instructions on how to assemble everything in layers on rolled out pastry circles, but I opted to mix everything up and chuck it in. When I came to seal the pasties I found that bits of raw potato and swede were sticking out at all angles and puncturing the pastry. Let that be a lesson for those of us who think we know better - I shall layer next time. Needless to say, the end result was slightly disappointing. Strangely textured pastry and under-seasoned filling. Must try harder!

Before I close I must tell you that Mr Latte and myself enjoyed a fabulous evening at the Village Hall on Friday night. We sat amongst good friends and neighbours for an Italian Evening. Wine tasting (two whites and two reds on an empty stomach - oops!) was followed by Cannelloni and a green salad. Pudding was three-fold, Tiramisu, Panna Cotta and ... I can't remember the other one. Afterwards we had an Italian trivia quiz in which our table scored a less than impressive four out of ten, but a very jolly evening was had by all.

Hope all is forgiven, Lucy. x

Chocolate Brownies

Lucinda,

I hope that you will forgive my rather frosty greeting, but I must say that I'm a little bit cross; either one of my children must have been mumbling when they spoke to you, or you are just trying to get back at me for my 'cat licked the cake' comment. Either way, I feel that you must allow me to set the record straight.

Firstly: it's been years since I was on a bus;

secondly: I recently jogged the Race for Life with the only moistness being the perspiration on my brow;

thirdly: the only time I've ever been referred to as a Tena Lady was when singing in the school choir; although, actually, I'm more of an Alto...

Needless to say, my latest bake was somewhat in the pursuit of comfort food: Chocolate Brownies, page 54. Half a pound of butter, a slab of chocolate and 4 eggs is hardly the stuff of restraint, but was just what I needed to smooth my ruffled feathers. The only issue with this recipe is that you have to wait for it to cool completely before you can remove it from the tin; my self-control was tested to the limits before I could assuage my feelings. But what comfort!

My batch made 12 brownies; unfortunately, as you can see from the photograph, it took a plate full of these moreish morsels before I felt mollified. Lord knows what it's done to my coronary arteries!

As the great poet, W.B Yeats, once said: "Tread softly because you tread on my dreams." Well Lucy, perhaps you could tread a little more softly by kindly keeping your more 'earthy' sentiments to yourself in future!

Cathy x

Bread Rolls

Dear Cathy

What a lovely surprise it was to see you last week and thank you so much for the flowers, how fortunate that you passed a petrol station on the way. I'm sorry the cake wasn't freshly baked but I thought it defrosted quite well, and I promise the cat hadn't been at it. Isn't it shameful when children tell lies? Whilst you were in the garden one of your brood said 'mummy's tinkle cried when she missed the bus yesterday' but I'm sure it's not true.

Your Victoria Sponge looks most impressive. You are right in thinking that I won first prize for mine in the village flower and produce show last year (and the year before) so let me give you the benefit of my experience.
This is highly sought after information so keep it under your hat. 'Betty the Bun' told me her secrets when I first arrived in the village - I think she felt sorry for me.

A 'show cake' must be displayed on a plain white plate and don't forget the doily or you will have marks deducted as I discovered to my cost. Jam in the middle, not cream or butter icing, and dust the top with caster sugar, not icing sugar! Finally, it is most important to achieve an even rise. I must admit that I struggle with this, although Mr Latte never seems to have any trouble. My cakes are normally slightly domed (I blame the oven). Yours looks lovely and even - what's your secret?

This week I made plain white bread (p96). I formed my dough into rolls because I didn't have a loaf tin. The recipe said the bread would be ready if it sounded hollow when tapped underneath. A 'dull thud' meant it needed more time. Frankly, I couldn't tell the difference - I'm not Evelyn Glennie!
The rolls were quite delicious straight from the oven with a chunk of Shropshire Blue and a bowl of leek and potato soup, but there were rather a lot of them, so I froze some. This wasn't a success. After defrosting thoroughly they seemed awfully heavy, but it was a glorious afternoon so we adjourned to the garden and played Boules with them instead.

Will you be going to Glastonbury this year darling? I hear The Wombles are playing? According to the Guardian, there was an almighty cock-up with the bookings, a dreadful war-of-words ensued, and The Wombles are so upset they have withdrawn their offer to help with the post-festival clean-up! Also appearing are Don McLean and Kool and the Gang so there's something for everyone! No Queen, alas, but did you see their documentary on BBC2 last week? It included previously unbroadcast footage from Top of the Pops circa 1974. The BBC had lost the original tapes but luckily the programme had been recorded by a viewer - none other than the late great Dick Emery!

Time to make a drink and snuggle up with David Dimbleby now.

Much love, Lucy. x

P.S. Quiz Night was cancelled. I don't know why I bother!

Victoria Sandwich Cake

My dear Lucy, I cannot write any more until I have told you how lovely it was to see you and all the Latte family last week! I know that we write to each other regularly, but nothing can compare with being with your friends in the flesh; a cup of tea, a slice of cake and a chin-wag really do lift the spirits. And talking of cake, that Lemon Drizzle cake that you keep in the freezer for "unexpected guests (serves them right)" was truly delicious. So moist. I have to say that the news that it may have been licked by your cat, didn't dampen my enjoyment! Your smallest child is so droll.

Well, this week you can see that I have been baking again - Victoria Sandwich cake, page 262 - and again have slightly bent the rules. I used to think that I was a real stickler for doing things right, but appear to be proving myself wrong... The Chino family don't really go in for flim-flam and decoration, so I substituted strawberry jam for the fresh strawberries and cream. We had friends over for tea and served it for dessert, which is why there's only half a cake in my picture!

My husband reminded me that I really must enter a Victoria Sandwich into our local agricultural show this autumn; he says it could win prizes and has been encouraging me to unleash my creations on the wider public for a number of years. Perhaps I shall this year... Which reminds me; are you still the reigning champion in your village? Will you be defending your crown this summer? I must say that I think you are rather brave; it's all very well talking about it, but putting your cake where your mouth is is another thing entirely!

On a more serious note, you will take care when motorcycling along the country lanes, won't you? Mr Chino has had me watching the TT races this week; the image of leather-clad bodies hurtling along at high speed put me in mind of you and I don't want the next Victoria Sandwich I bake to be a funereal one.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

With love, Cathy x

Rhubarb and Strawberry Crumble

Dear Cathy

Thank you for your advice regarding the cleaning and maintenance of my washing machine, but I rather think you have me confused with someone else. My Bosch is as fresh as a daisy. Perhaps you were thinking of Maria Macchiato? I'm not at all sure how clean her dispenser draw is.

I must say, I do admire the way you look after Mr Chino. Taking him freshly made scones was a lovely thought. Were they still warm? If so, he could have warmed his little hands on them like the miners used to do with Cornish Pasties. Perhaps you should try making a pastie, I hear it's very chilly up north? Anyway, in my experience the key to a happy hubby is quite simple - a steady supply of homemade cake and plenty of sex. Perhaps I should write to Mrs Giggs about it. If she sent Ryan off to Old Trafford every morning with a smile on his face and a Rock Cake in his lunch box she'd have a very happy chappy.

This weeks bake was Rhubarb and Strawberry Crumble (p293). How odd, I thought, to put strawberries into a hot pudding, but the Rhubarb patch looked like a jungle and I had a punnet of strawbs in the fridge so I gave it a whirl. There were rolled oats and almonds in the crumble topping and let me tell you, the result was worthy of a Gastro Pub. Try it on Sunday!

Before I close, I must ask your advice about a little project I've taken on. The School Circle wants to hold a quiz night to raise money for a new tortoise, and naturally, I have been asked to set the questions. I'm doing one round entitled 'Ten Things You Should Have Learned At School' and I wondered if you had any suggestions for questions. Can you remember the characteristics of a 'V' shaped valley? I'm just putting together the picture round - not sure whether to go for 'Name the following British Prime Ministers' or 'Who wore the following Royal Wedding Hats'?

Yours, Lucy.

Scones

Dear Lucy, Today I have been the ultimate 'haus frau' and rather enjoyed myself! Having completed the school run and popped to the bank, I returned home. Grabbing the hoover, mop and bleach, I blitzed the downstairs of the house in preparation for friends coming to tea tomorrow. That done, I prepared Mr Chino's lunch in readiness for popping it round to him later; but what sweet treat could I spoil him with? The answer lay in the pages of our favourite cookery tome: “The Great British Book of Baking."
Page72: Scones.
I confess that I did feel a little unfaithful to my old school exercise book, but decided that, if scones were to be made, I should give this recipe a go. Perhaps a certain Premiership footballer might have been wise to think twice, as I did; one can only surmise that the pleasure I experienced when biting into those warm, crumbly scones was exceeded by his dalliances with his reality tv 'star'! At least I know that my baking experiences are discreet, my creations will not kiss and tell (unless too much cake has a detrimental effect on my waistline!)
As you can tell from my ramblings, the scones were delicious! I did not, however, follow the recipe to the letter, having only lightly salted butter and semi-skimmed milk in the fridge, but I don't think the result could've been more yummy.
Whilst I'm in domesticated mode, let me tell you a solution I have found to an embarrassing problem we have both shared. I remember, some time ago, you told me that leaving the door to your washing machine closed resulted in some unpleasant odours. My experience has gone further than that, with mold growing in my dispenser drawer! Well, my dear Lucy, I have cleaned up my act! You could say that I have 'taken the doorstep challenge'; by going back to a big box powder I have a sweeter smelling drum and a spotless dispenser drawer. No more will I pay homage to tablets, liquitabs and dispenser balls; I'm keeping it simple from now on.

Cathy x

Lemon Drizzle Cake

Dear Cathy

Having thumbed through 'The Great British Book of Baking' several times over the last week I couldn't resist the creative urge any longer. After tea, I pre-heated my oven, and, as I had a surplus of unwaxed lemons in the fridge, got to work with a Lemon Drizzle Cake (p245).
The result was deliciously soft and moist with a mouth-watering crunchy lemon topping...marred only by the fact that, as you can see, the bottom and sides burned and I had to saw them off with a bread knife. I must make it clear that this was in no way due to a deficiency in the recipe - no! It was entirely the fault of the stupid man who came to service my cooker last month. It took me two years to get used to that oven, then in he waltzes, fiddles with the burners and now everything is coming out black as coal. I tried to compensate for the ferocity of the flame by turning it down by a whole gas mark, but at one point I thought the cake wasn't going to rise at all so I turned it back up again - huge mistake. Anyway, I threw the burnt bits out for the birds and stuck the rest in the freezer for unexpected guests (serves them right)!

So, to other news. I started a diet today as I'm looking rather Rubenesque of late (another good reason for putting the cake in the freezer). A friend of mine had invited me to join her on a Juice Fast but I'm not fond of celery so I declined. I've given up all hope of ever fitting into my leather trousers again but I'm sick of maxi-dresses, they're very forgiving but they do tend to get caught up in the motorbike chain.

Can't wait to hear from you, Lucy. x