Apple Scone Round

Dear Lucy,

And they say that village life is quiet and boring, well not with you around, my dear! I do hope that your past isn't catching up with you, we all know how rumours are hard to live down... It puts me in mind of a particularly rigorous customs search I once endured due to a small, yet innocuous, bag of white powder in a suitcase; those memories can scar, but at least none of my neighbours witnessed it. I do hope that the Village Gossip hasn't been told and that you managed to enjoy your Hallowe'en shindig.

We don't much go in for that 'trick or treat' malarkay, but we did hold our usual firework party on November the 5th; we had about 15 guests of all ranges and, I'm delighted to say that most of them brought pudding and alcohol! Perfect!

My latest bake was a masterpiece, though I say it myself. I know you're struggling to cope with your damsons, but my issue is cooking apples. We have a very tall tree in the garden, so the fruit is impossible to pick and I have to wait for the blighters to drop before I can do anything with them. That means I have to act quickly before they rot on the ground; it's feast or famine with apples in our house. Anyway, I was hosting our latest book club meeting (we'd been reading "One Day" which is very pleasant but not at all the 'masterpiece' the testimonials claim it to be) and the apples were there, so I tried the Apple Scone Round [page69]. It was so simple to make and designed to look rustic, so it suited me down to the ground. I served it with both clotted cream and Wensleydale cheese, but most of the Book Club members went for cream; it was delicious warm from the oven, but the problem, I find, is stopping after one slice... I had visitors the next day and offered them what was left of the round with a cup of tea; though not quite as perfect as the previous day, it was well-received and very tasty. I don't think a damson version would work, though...

How's the liquid diet going? I must say I'm very impressed as I find any kind of self-deprivation beyond me; have you managed to fit into anything without lycra, yet? I'm not quite into anything with an elastic waist, but I do find that jeans with a bit of stretch in them are far more forgiving once you've had children; the fat seems to move south, doesn't it?

Keep up the good work! Let me know how you're going on; I think you're marvelous for even trying (unless your liquid diet consists mostly of alcohol, that is!)

Much love, Cathy

Tarte au Citron

Dear Cathy

You have been a busy bee haven't you? Not too busy to watch the final of 'The Great British Bake Off' I hope? I was very pleased for Jo, the winner, although I must confess that Janet was my favourite. I thought she was fabulous, even though Sue Perkins said her croissants looked like neck-braces! We all make mistakes Sue, and Janet's Tarte au Citron was a masterpiece compared to mine.

The pastry was sticky and difficult to handle, but I managed to patch it up in the flan tin quite adequately and the filling was easy-peasy. So 'what went wrong' I hear you ask. Quite simply, I couldn't get the blooming thing out of the tin. My filling had leaked and stuck the whole thing down like super-glue. In the end my only option was to turn the tart upside down and give it a bash. It might look like a pile of sick but it tasted divine.

Speaking of glue, I must tell you what happened to me last week. I was bagging up damsons for freezing (bugger the jam), and putting the required number in little plastic bags. I then needed to suck out the air. Normally, I do this with a drinking straw but I had none to hand, so I just put the bag to my mouth and sucked as hard as I could. When my lungs were at full capacity I happened to glance up to see one of the neighbours staring at me through my kitchen window. I am the talk of the village once again as everyone now thinks I have been glue-sniffing! I am helping with the village lunches on Wednesday and I don't know how I'm going to face everyone. Still, you know me dear, I shall just brazen it out. If nothing else, I shall look fabuous. I am now on a liquid diet (porridge, soup and skinny lattes), but it seems to be doing the trick. I have done lots of swimming and hill-walking (I bought some very expensive, state-of-the-art new walking shoes which I'm very pleased with, although they do give me blisters), and I have lost a stone in weight. TA DA! I expect it will all go to pot on Saturday when I'm off to a halloween party where there will be food and drink a plenty. I have a magnificent costume though, and may even send you a photo after the event. Watch this space!

Lots of love, Lucy.

PS By the way my deara - I think you mis-spelled Madeira!

Madiera cake

Hello, dear! How are you?

I'm all over the place at present and can't seem to get much of a grip! I think I'm just ready for the half-term hols so I can catch my breath. I've a pile of ironing the size of a small family car; the dog keeps chewing various items of clothing; I won't even mention the state of my bathroom (suffice it to say that I'll have to give it a good seeing to before I open the front door to any visitors...) But much of my disorganisation is down to having a healthy social life and having little time to dedicate to being a domestic godess as a result. On Saturday last, not only did I meet a friend for lunch in Leeds, but Mr Chino and myself went out to dinner with friends; on Sunday I catered for the little Chinos' fifth birthday party - they went as Darth Vader - baking two cakes in the morning; Monday was the boys' parents' evening and Tuesday saw me travelling to Leeds (again) to watch "Madam Butterfly"! I can't believe what I packed into the last few days... Needless to say, I'm pooped!

Thank goodness I had to bake birthday cakes, else I'd never have got round to baking at all. The boys are so different and, just like last year, wanted different cakes to one another. I ended up making a chocolate and a Madiera cake. Both were delicious! The Madiera cake was so simple to make, good job too, as I had burnt one chocolate cake on Saturday and had run out of eggs. I had visions of a mercy dash to the Co-op to purchase a Caterpillar cake (cover your ears, Margo; I bet your children have never suffered such abuse at your hands...), but was saved that fate. As you can see from the photo, my cake decoration skills are limited, but the boys were delighted.

I must say that the Brownies never appealed to me either, all that calling grown women by owl names seemed a little strange; come to think of it, I never joined the RSPB for that matter.

I'm sure you'll manage the November bake very well, although Margo's suggestion was a little obvious; what about Parkin - very 'Bonfire Night', or Treacle Toffee? Have a look through the Great British Book of Baking, I'm sure you'll get an idea.

Well, that's all for now; I'm off to get into my pyjamas and curl up in front of the tv with a nice cup of tea.

Night night; Cathy x

Apple and Bramble Pie

Dear Cathy

Thank you for your kind words dear. There have been one or two unkind remarks since the show which are rather hurtful, but I stand by my decision to enter a burnt Lemon Drizzle Cake and an over-sized Bakewell Tart. Some time ago I was asked to join the W.I. to bolster their dwindling numbers, and I was giving it serious consideration, but on further reflection I don't think I'll bother!

We have been very busy adjusting to the new school term and all the new after-school activities and associated logistics. No sooner do I think I've got it all sorted than something else crops up. My eldest has just started Brownies and is loving it already. Strange really - as a young girl I attended for a while but could never muster up much enthusiasm and ended up getting thrown out. I never knew why and mother still can't talk about it! Anyway, at the end of each meeting there is a cake sale and everyone takes turns to make little cup cakes etc. We're not baking until November but I'm looking for inspiration already. Do let me know if you have any suggestions for something special won't you?

The latest bake was Apple and Bramble Pie (p221). The recipe said one could replace blackberries with various other fruits and I used Whinberries, hand-picked by the Latte family at the end of the summer holiday. It was a beautiful sunny day and we had been pond-dipping in the morning. We followed this with a cup of tea and a slice of Wild Edric's Tart at the Bog Visitor Centre, and then continued up to the Stiperstones where we spent a happy hour picking the delicious little berries. It was so satisfying to take them home, sort them, wash them and put them in a pie. I took a picture of them because I thought they were so beautiful.

The Damson tree in the garden is also laden with fruit and we have been picking that too. I have tried three times to make jam. The first batch burned, the second set like concrete and the last separated into a thick syrup with a few damsons floating around in it. I have now given up as I was wasting such a lot of fruit. I have frozen some for pies and have started off some Damson Gin which takes three months to brew! The rest I have given to Lois for her to make jam, and she will repay me with a couple of jars of the finished product.

That's all for now. Your dear friend Lucy. x

PS ref your last letter - what happened to the cat?

PPS I am having a lovely time playing with Pottermore. I have opened an account at Gringotts Bank, bought all the equipment I need for Hogwarts in Diagon Alley, and I've got my wand from Ollivanders!

Special Sausage Rolls

My poor, dear Lucy,

I had to have a large glass of full-bodied red and a lie down in a darkened room after reading your latest news! Crikey! I do hope that you're feeling a little more chipper by now and have lived down the humiliation of your efforts at the village fete; I think they should have awarded marks for sheer effort, but one does find that the 'ladies' in charge of judging these affairs have little imagination and don't credit the entrants with any, either. I was charged with helping my mother with the entries for her garden club show last summer and, quite honestly, the amount of red tape involved would have equipped a dozen may-poles, never mind one. I suppose they would justify it by claiming that "a level playing-field makes it fairer to everyone concerned", yet it does nothing but dampen the spirits of those keen to support local community events as far as I can see. (Of course, we must not forget how proudly you reigned supreme as Queen of the Victoria Sponge in previous times, or the reflected glory in which you now bask following the little Latte's triumphs... I hope you can gain strength from these...)

I notice, again, that Margo has given us her penn'orth of wisdom; it's all very well taking the high ground, but has she even entered her wares into such a competitive arena? I doubt it. As the kids say, "Don't listen to the haters", Lucinda. Gird your loins, ride the storm, hold your head erect and all will soon pass.

Things have been rolling along here: the eldest Chino child is now in Y6 and we face the imminent prospect of choosing a secondary school for him and the two youngest have just started in Reception; how time marches on... To stop myself from getting broody, we acquired a puppy over the holidays and, you'll be pleased to note, have called her Muffin; cut me open and you'll find baking written through my core, like a stick of Blackpool rock! She is a delight and we are now able to explore the local countryside on our daily walks. A good job, too, as I have put on a little weight around the middle over the summer, so need to do something about it. My latest bake was Special Sausage Rolls [page 324]. I'm afraid I took the easy option and used ready made, frozen puff pastry (thank you, Mr B. Rowe!) as I had some in and was a little pressed for time - the recipe said it was a good alternative to making your own, and so it was. The Chino children were able to enjoy a delicious after-school snack. I must say that they were far less greasy than those sold in our local bakers and have popped them into the freezer to defrost as required. I split the batch in half and made about 8 good-sized plain rolls and spread some caramelised onion chutney inside the others, to cater for more exotic tastes. Both were a real success although, if I am to bake them again, I'll have to improve on my 'knocking-up' and 'scalloping' - as usual, my results look a little rustic. I would also cut them smaller as they are definitely more than a mouthful.

Haven't seen anything of our neighbours since they erected the fence; it's probably for the best as relations were distinctly soured when our eldest scared their cat into the road just as a car was passing. Things like that can be so hard to get over, can't they?

Hope to hear good news from you soon.

With love, Cathy x

The Village Produce Show 2011

4pm

Dear Cathy

I have just returned from the Show and I expect you are eager to know how I got on.

My Lemon Drizzle Cake was not placed, and I can't say I'm surprised. I am led to believe that the judge had very high standards, and there were several excellent entries. She did leave an advisory note for all entrants with a very useful tip for next time though:

'Best to test with a warm skewer as a cold one leaves a mark'.

There was also a note with the Bakewell Tarts as follows:

'Flan cases should be well filled. Always read the schedule carefully - 7" approx size."

I had a hot flush when I read it as it was clearly directed at me, but it gets worse I'm afraid. My tart was marked 'N.A.S. - Not According to Schedule' which means it was disqualified!

I tried to laugh it off, but truth be told, I felt quite ashamed. I let the village down, I let you down, and worst of all I let myself down.

The little Lattes did very well with their Rock Cakes, winning first and second prizes in the Under-8s category. They also won prizes for their Scarecrow Collages and their Poems.

That's all for now dear, I'm going for a lie down.

Lucy x

The Village Produce Show 2011

10am

Dear Cathy

What a fiasco! I have just returned from the Village Hall where I have been setting up for the Show. I feel quite deflated. It all began yesterday...

My friend Stevie and her three children came over for lunch. I made Lasagne with a fresh salad followed by Eton Mess for pudding. After lunch the children frolicked in the paddling pool while Stevie and I spent a happy afternoon sitting in the warm sun and chatting over a lovely bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

Our friends left late afternoon and we set to work on the children's Rock Cakes, getting them into the oven without much trouble. I then told the little Lattes it was 'mummy's time now', and they toddled off to play. I had already made the pastry base for my Bakewell Tart and had lined my newly acquired flan tin. The shop it came from had several sizes of tin. The recipe asked for 22cms but they only had 20 or 23cms, so I opted for the larger one. There was also a choice between shallow and deep. I opted for deep, as a shallow tart is always a disappointment in my opinion. Anyway, I spread the jam on the base and made up the topping quite easily. When I put the topping into the case it wasn't easy to spread as it was quite thick, and there didn't seem to be much of it - I was not optimistic. It looked alright when it came out of the oven, but the filling was inadequate. 'No matter' I thought. 'Onward and Upward'.

Next was the Lemon Drizzle Cake which I had made many times and had off to a fine art, as I think even Margo, who has sampled some, will agree. I casually threw the mixture together, chucked it in the oven and half an hour later I had a burnt cake. By this time, Mr Latte was home from work, the children were glued to 'Horrible Histories' and I'd opened the second 'bouteille de vin'. 'Sod it' I thought, 'I'll get up early tomorrow and make another one'.

By 7.15 this morning, slightly shaky and sick of the sight of cake mix, I had Lemon Drizzle Mark II in the oven, and thirty minutes later I had another burnt cake - DISASTER! I had two choices - turn up to the Village Hall without an entry in this category or support the show by entering anyway. After all, there can be no winners without losers, and that Cathy, is exactly what I did. I popped some icing on it and brazened it out!

I was up at the Hall by 8.30 and put my Lemon Drizzle Cake with the others (which were all loaves - oh dear, that will be another point deducted). Placing all my hopes in the Bakewell, I went to place my entry with the others, which all looked rather puny. I then realised to my dismay that the Schedule had actually specified a 7 inch tart, so mine was over size - more points lost!

Sorry there are no pictures yet, I will take some later when the show open to the public this afternoon.

Yours, Lucy x