Margo's Sticky Marmalade Tea Loaf

Dear Lucinda

Just wanted to drop you a quick line to 1/ say how lovely it was to see you recently and 2/ inform you that I have just purchased that little cookery book you and Cathy Chino are so fond of, and lo and behold, would you believe it, when I unwrapped it, it mysteriously fell open at page 130
Sticky Marmalade Tea Loaf. Well, that was it, pinny on and away I went.

I left it for Mr Mocha to put in the Aga as I had to dash to meet that nice man off the television, John Craven. We did a spot of filming at the local supermarket, then back to our house for more filming - Sound man, Camera man and Director all in toe. Luckily, I had already made my trademark chocolate cake (apologies Ms Collister, dare I say it, a recipe from my dear old friend Delia) which we all washed down with mugs of hot tea and cafetiere coffee, then on with the filming. We chatted about the carbon footprint of our food, which I am now very well educated about thanks to 'Mike' the expert. Next, a spot of cooking with 'Kale'. I have it on good authority that it used to be fed to cattle, but it was very tasty with chicken and potatoes, even middle Mocha enjoyed it. Alas, tiny Mocha was more interested in his Mario Party on the Wii, than the lights, cameras and other TV paraphernalia taking up my kitchen. So, now we wait with great anticipation for the broadcast of 'Countryfile' on 11th March.
I only pray we don't live to regret it and end up on Harry Hill's TV Burp!

I digress, back to my baking. The loaf was delicious, but my advice would be to have a wet-wipe handy for sticky fingers!

Ta Ta for now

Margo xx

Carrot Cake

Dear Cathy

I don't know which is worse, using that state-of-the-art food mixer while all the time professing to be a purist, or owning such a magnificent machine just for show!

This weekend we had a visitor staying and I know he is particularly partial to a carrot cake. What with all my voluntary work, I didn't get chance to bake on the Friday he arrived, although I did serve up a tasty lasagne with a crisp green salad for supper, followed by a couple of bottles of red wine.
By the time I went to bed I had become quite political and was slurring a bit, but luckily I didn't stray beyond the bounds of good taste. The next day I was a bit dizzy but still produced a glorious butternut squash and red pepper soup (recipe courtesy of Margo) and aforementioned carrot cake.

The cake was easy to make as it's one of those recipes that contains vegetable oil rather than butter (sounds awful doesn't it?), but you just throw everything together, slop it into two cake tins and pop it in the oven. It was quite a dark mixture, what with all that brown sugar, and little Latte said it looked like poo when we put it in to bake. (It didn't stop her licking the bowl out.) The cake was very tasty and super-moist, and I became over-confident with the icing. I made it in a rush and it turned out to be runny and lumpy - like sick! I had to throw it away and start again, this time adding the cream cheese to the butter and orange juice, little by little, in order to prevent it from curdling. Et voila! De Gateau aux Carrottes!

Well dear, must get on. Mr Latte and the little ones are at the village hall rehearsing for the pantomime and I want to use the time to get a few jobs done. I applied some beautiful stage make-up to the children before they left - they looked like two miniature Margot Fonteyns. I turned my back for two minutes and some official had gone over the top of my artistry with some luminous bright blue eye shadow. Unbelievable! Mark my words, if they come out in a rash someone will feel my boot up their arse!

Much Love, Lucy. x

Little Pots of Baked Chocolate

Hello dear!

I can't say I'm surprised at all by Margo's ostentatious new kitchen - if ever there was a woman who had it all and never tired of telling us about it, it's her. Chandeliers?! But I do see a chink in her armour - did you say a shiny red food processor? I thought Margo was a stickler for the wooden spoon and mixing bowl; what a duplicitous woman she is. I shall no longer feel inferior because I have to get by with a Sainsbury's Basics electric whisk! I can work wonders with it and don't need to pretend; I bet she distresses shop bought mince pies at Christmas and passes them off as her own...

This evening I am feeling most satisfied, even a little smug. After a particularly challenging week, I decided that the Chino Family needed a little spoiling and set to planning a lovely evening meal. We ate chicken and mushroom risotto followed by Little Pots of Baked Chocolate (heavenly!) and yes, the 'molten chocolate centre' did 'ooze out' as I broke the crust. I believe that even Raymond Blanc would have been impressed.

[This picture was taken after the pudding had cooled so, Margo, the inside is not oozing.]

The recipe required 300g of good plain chocolate; when I came to inspect the contents of my larder cupboard, I only had 200g of Bourneville; drat! I rifled through the fridge and found another 50g and a single chocolate from a Christmas variety box; getting closer! But how could I make up the final 50g? In desperation (on so many levels) I was forced to use the last of my Cherry Green & Blacks. What resulted was actually quite pleasant, however, one of my youngest nearly went apoplectic when he came across the alien fruit in his desert. Honestly, if it's not a banana, he won't go near it. I bet Margo's children eat all sorts of exotic things. By the way, what is that black speck in the marmalade? Heaven forbid it's anything untoward; as long as it's not your charred flesh, Lucy...

Speak soon, Cathy x